tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67414093768209149872024-02-01T22:54:42.575-08:00it's wonderful being a girlInspired by the 1968 Johnson & Johnson educational film that girls watched while boys were outside...the blog gathers some of what the boys miss on the outside.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger84125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-68211909265643794772015-08-05T21:58:00.001-07:002015-08-05T21:58:50.103-07:00Thanks But I've Got My Own Cape<br />
If we relied on the media to feed us our opinions - we would hate single parents. And maybe we do. But based on the stories we see in news headlines or stories streamed to us on our favorite channels, have we ever seen what it really means to be a single parent?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqqrwzz-bWkVhEztJefTyqRghiTh40OYwOm7OhlcggkEQB2WnoL-SkxJ1rBtKE_2N48AqdfsEGVpMOhGUEA09QqLRapIIQ395UA3baq3ASObxpenCrY_3WwSZ07iwign98xOtQRXFunjhT/s1600/timthumb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqqrwzz-bWkVhEztJefTyqRghiTh40OYwOm7OhlcggkEQB2WnoL-SkxJ1rBtKE_2N48AqdfsEGVpMOhGUEA09QqLRapIIQ395UA3baq3ASObxpenCrY_3WwSZ07iwign98xOtQRXFunjhT/s320/timthumb.jpg" width="320" /></a>According to headlines and opinion pieces, single parents are either rooted in the breakdown of American moral fiber (<a href="http://m.snopes.com/bush-cull-fact-check/" target="_blank">says Jeb Bush</a>, one big voice for the right wing moral majority) or an example of why we need better sex ed and access to birth control (<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/15/opinion/charles-blow-jeb-bush-and-single-mothers.html?_r=0" target="_blank">Charles M. Blow of the NY Times</a>). Oversimplified and opportunistic at best.<br />
<br />
If you look at movies, single moms are:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Well resourced, but bitter (Panic Room with Jodie Foster)</li>
<li>Women of color eligible for uplift. She is both redeemed by rich white folks who show her what opportunity looks like as well as redeemer, by providing the down to earth perspective required for rich white folks to get grateful. (Spanglish, Tea Leoni, Adam Sandler and Paz Vega) </li>
<li>Ambitious woman of color whose career decision forsakes her fish out of water child (in this case, out of the country too) whose only chance to learn how to swim (e.g. learn self-respect and self-defense) is a working class man. (Karate Kid remake with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith). </li>
<li>Not doing as well as they could be, if only they had a man around. Thank goodness their meddling kids can manipulate them to make it happen. (Countless titles: About a Boy, Maid in Manhattan, Jerry Maguire, the list goes on...) </li>
</ul>
<div>
Though moms are generally met with disdain for going to work, single dads can do anything, whether it's Alan Arkin moving his kids from one apartment to another in Slums of Beverly Hills or Interstellar with Matthew McConaughey who runs off into space to find a better planet.... </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I will give Tyler Perry credit for saying he wants to lift up single moms and what it takes to raise kids without sacrificing your values and sanity. But damn if he didn't do the opposite, right along with most other attempts I've seen on every screen. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The trouble is, single moms don't need another movie or episode of TV to show that a man is the solution to whichever single dimension characterization you want to fill in. Yes, we know it's hard and yes it might be different with a partner, but until the right one comes along and I happen to be interested, BUGGER OFF. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You don't see many consistent examples (though there are a few exceptions) of single moms making it happen. This strikes me as odd considering how many damn single parents are out there. That's going to change. Stay tuned, the bonus is it's going to be fun and you'll probably learn something too.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-30258504864453035842015-05-19T23:51:00.001-07:002015-05-19T23:52:01.303-07:00Dispatch From A Velveteen Lined Rut<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL7sjodVhcgBSo0AJtmxsHU2ZjVcIEXMx1WiqoCsoZ9L4Ldxog6WzukxbP50qWyJEe7s4vXNh_lYi9WJYmTAc2NYA0ojgTl5BQoKzidOMLNzkpzC7uc_orlUrhLTEu4S3XRmX1Nxvtt7JQ/s1600/IMG_5818.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL7sjodVhcgBSo0AJtmxsHU2ZjVcIEXMx1WiqoCsoZ9L4Ldxog6WzukxbP50qWyJEe7s4vXNh_lYi9WJYmTAc2NYA0ojgTl5BQoKzidOMLNzkpzC7uc_orlUrhLTEu4S3XRmX1Nxvtt7JQ/s320/IMG_5818.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
The stories I tell, and they're true mind you, would have any old body singing my praises as a woman who has cracked the code on the good life. And I would chuckle, nod and whole-heartedly agree. Except I don't really live in adverbs. And when I take the time to sit all by my lonesome, it is better described as hole-hearted.<br />
<br />
Yes, I earn a semi-competitive salary, doing work that is creative and mostly dictated by me on a schedule that is flexible with a community of family and friends that make sure I can travel.<br />
<br />
But any story is only worth the subtext. The secrets lining the vivid panorama are that I am often lonely for adult companionship. No, I don't mean getting laid. I mean a real partner in crime so I don't have to have exclusive rights and responsibilities to having my back. Or covering the costs required to make now and then happen. Being a single parent means you attend lots the family mandatory events but generally are not included in the extra curricular social stuff- the weekend outings, the summer fun. The good news is that my Dare Devil Daughter is a magical human being, so she tends to be included. The not so good news is that the feeling you remember from being excluded when you were 14 years old and couldn't help but internalize as a fatal flaw? It comes out of hiding when your favorite social media timeline reveals that you were not included in the most recent fill-in-the-fun activity.<br />
<br />
And now our house is small so we won't really be hosting any get togethers. I get the feeling that the local moms (Dad's won't come within 10 feet unless their S.O. is in tow) find me amusing (I would) but don't consider ours a friendship worth pursuing beyond pick-up and drop-off overlap.<br />
<br />
I get it. We are all taken up with having our lives and there aren't many resources for accommodating the skill of bringing on a third wheel. People like even numbers. Truth be told, it simply doesn't feel good. Then it gets overwhelming when I want to dream of a time when I am eligible for such camaraderie, or even the option to do it on my own and it occurs to me that raising a child on my own in the Bay Area working for a non-profit...means that we are just getting by and that sailboat or weekend cabin or mortgage are not likely.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWqCxB4sS5_CbsoCKds5r-3lYaIO29uJ3EXLUCwfN_zm1NV32pp3coUHxUdx-dtW3QpK9MdIWHTcStt88NCJ609UBBRDrNft9hd5GPaA8Y32Ay9XtGmJIiKyI8ECT9UeBXJdE9jl54YttH/s1600/IMG_7447.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWqCxB4sS5_CbsoCKds5r-3lYaIO29uJ3EXLUCwfN_zm1NV32pp3coUHxUdx-dtW3QpK9MdIWHTcStt88NCJ609UBBRDrNft9hd5GPaA8Y32Ay9XtGmJIiKyI8ECT9UeBXJdE9jl54YttH/s320/IMG_7447.PNG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Unless I work my ass off on the MIRACLE. Yes, I am an optimist and I believe. Except I'm exhausted and I'm suffering from short-sightitis and dog-ass-tired more often than not. I'll get over it. I'll get fit. I'll get the pages written. I'll get out there. My unicorn is looking for me just like i'm looking for him. Just not tonight. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-70415605077628546232014-09-25T22:48:00.000-07:002014-09-25T22:51:34.186-07:00Courage, Confidence or Crap<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggmb2dtxa30wUbRuDQnM4buuvqhTaZuvnmnH9YiBSxtcg7_nwjy2pTkr38198i4zMvqvOLiKWmiqKe4uqlZtQ-0MFhWXmbpmBdpu-5s8EH0bkrrj9lCoYzekvIp0H84Ump42iqJAOGG8Qn/s1600/6146495a640c6c1e85a060a2701df53f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggmb2dtxa30wUbRuDQnM4buuvqhTaZuvnmnH9YiBSxtcg7_nwjy2pTkr38198i4zMvqvOLiKWmiqKe4uqlZtQ-0MFhWXmbpmBdpu-5s8EH0bkrrj9lCoYzekvIp0H84Ump42iqJAOGG8Qn/s1600/6146495a640c6c1e85a060a2701df53f.jpg" /></a></div>
Tonight I am awarding myself with the Mediocre Mom award. It's the prize you give yourself when:<br />
<ul>
<li>your kid has been home sick and plugged into an electronic device instead of being given any real loving attention. </li>
<li>you've been on the phone most of the day, mostly catching up with friends about the confusion you are suffering under after a magical whirlwind weekend that your to-do list couldn't accommodate. </li>
<li>You impatiently sprinkle lavender on the pillow and sent the poor kiddo to sleep with a YouTube meditation</li>
<li>Barely make it to your laptop, glass of grapes in hand, only to find out the Internet is broken because EVERYBODY is trying to stream the season premiere of SCANDAL.</li>
</ul>
I try not to down the wine like it's last call and give up on the streaming. The soft frustrated teary sniffles of the kiddo summon me. Off of the elliptical (everybody streams TV with wine and a workout, right?), and I report for duty. She cries it out, I suck it up and before you know it, she is super snoozing.<br />
<br />
I've got a Godzillion things I could do and be productive or creative or both. But I don't wanna. Getting shit done is not compelling to me tonight. I'm fucking drained. I'm spread thin and flavorless like ketchup and water passing as soup. Long story short- I have to admit that I am keeping myself busy, engaging in fabulous, rewarding, smart-as-shit activities and adventures to be a good mom, a good steward, a good daughter, a good friend, a good employee, while building a handful of careers and feeding my soul with creative pursuits and magic as often as possible- to avoid the potential for finding myself lonely. The rub is that given the opportunity to connect on an adult level, let alone an an intimate sense - I'm burnt. I'm running on cheap fuel and it's low at that. My energy is being rationed. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6wiCHf7zPRUKAZd9Hps-_bZ1QjJLofrgJn0KsfuIgGKerMAfWBaE_7cFULQviXOoS4uHHZ7hsaWIBOL3zUqMsNfUqtQNZAnfI1xGGFyXR7tEK-2V48AVGowni9KrtNdXdeqoroOqNDNpZ/s1600/HERITAGE_IMAGES_32_CAD_RATION-CHOCOLATE_1939.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6wiCHf7zPRUKAZd9Hps-_bZ1QjJLofrgJn0KsfuIgGKerMAfWBaE_7cFULQviXOoS4uHHZ7hsaWIBOL3zUqMsNfUqtQNZAnfI1xGGFyXR7tEK-2V48AVGowni9KrtNdXdeqoroOqNDNpZ/s1600/HERITAGE_IMAGES_32_CAD_RATION-CHOCOLATE_1939.png" /></a></div>
Like most red blooded humans with more social media accounts than fingers, I consume the prayerful, grateful, motivating media so I know what to do: eat organic, run, surf, pray, ask the universe for whatever you want and get over yourself and get out of the way. Guess what? That shit takes time, more than that it requires focus and attention. I'll get to it, just not today.<br />
<br />
Thanks for reading all the way through this excuse to feed two birds with one worm - writing and whining with wine.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-69721325201814437802014-08-29T23:37:00.000-07:002014-08-29T23:37:07.708-07:00Things I Said... Things I'll DoWhen Mama was still a new name for me, I planned (based on how awesome my nephew was as a 2nd grader) to take a year off and travel the world with my daughter. I would have the money saved, we would put lie as lived it day to day on ice and hit the road!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbQb37NkJfCiQ8a50WPTOMVtvVUUTJbwLbvsZ-Hw2EH1x3c9YYrChlkmNEoJoXHJ6qkj_aXL_vj1ZrFUpbZl3_7BTRwHV72w12SsPHc0fULNbMpCxwpRh8DUULAPYwE1Zgu0olzqjMbNNE/s1600/imgres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbQb37NkJfCiQ8a50WPTOMVtvVUUTJbwLbvsZ-Hw2EH1x3c9YYrChlkmNEoJoXHJ6qkj_aXL_vj1ZrFUpbZl3_7BTRwHV72w12SsPHc0fULNbMpCxwpRh8DUULAPYwE1Zgu0olzqjMbNNE/s1600/imgres.jpg" /></a>This wasn't an original idea for me, this plan to go east in order to land west. I had first laid the ground work for it in the months before I found myself pregnant...I'd had it all worked out: I would buy a Ducati Monster (I was really hot for the Uma Thurman in Kill Bill II look), haul ass across the lower 48 then grow wings with an around the world airfare from JFK. I would globe-trot across Europe, the Middle East and Asia before I landed in Sydney where I had visions riding off into the sunset as an expat adventurer. Oh no, no, no... Apparently the Fates had other plans...<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiv5y_qNAJQw6L8H1Lm7rQSyP5K6bOgDhS2TH9i4agdQ1u_26h22XbjH3LfP3yTOp1D_Oh74IzkvlLqu0KqOu1lcwP81TwomRqKte6R8PeH798wxGXH-DnQ-o7JEJ9rcqUmQRYZquQRFhw/s1600/imgres-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiv5y_qNAJQw6L8H1Lm7rQSyP5K6bOgDhS2TH9i4agdQ1u_26h22XbjH3LfP3yTOp1D_Oh74IzkvlLqu0KqOu1lcwP81TwomRqKte6R8PeH798wxGXH-DnQ-o7JEJ9rcqUmQRYZquQRFhw/s1600/imgres-1.jpg" /></a>For me, taking on the title of Mama included potentially rearranging my dreams, not abandoning them. So world travel would require additional funding to cover the cost of my traveling companion. The good news is that my Daredevil Daughter adores traveling and has a talent for it. At 17 months old she was a champ when a code red terrorist alert cancelled our transatlantic flight, forcing me to strong arm (verbally, of course) an airline employee into rescheduling us on another airline flying into a Heathrow that was closed save for the tents and toilets accommodating thousands of stranded travelers. Still not 10 years old and she's weathered multiple long hauls, red eyes, rushed transfers and the self-righteous with the aplomb of one far older. Next month she will take her first flight as an unaccompanied minor. She was shining star when I gave her Street Cred 101 as we walked through Hell's Kitchen at dusk, so I am sure she won't have any problems. <br />
The best news is that she is every but as awesome as my nephew when he was a kiddo. This eliminates the first obstacle to my double top not so secret plan for us to touch as many spots on the globe as possible. How much it really cost? How many places can we land and not have to spend on accommodation? How do we manage in undeveloped areas as a single mom with a girl?<br />
<br />
What do you think? Where would you go? Where would you stay?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-31559792725474675272013-02-04T23:23:00.004-08:002013-02-04T23:23:49.800-08:00Real Talk- It's Your Vagina Honey<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/prod_consump/groups/cr_common/@cah/@gen/documents/image/crukmig_1000img-12090.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/prod_consump/groups/cr_common/@cah/@gen/documents/image/crukmig_1000img-12090.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joyce-mcfadden/female-sexuality_b_2611596.html?utm_hp_ref=parents">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joyce-mcfadden/female-sexuality_b_2611596.html?utm_hp_ref=parents</a><br />
<br />
This article touches on topics that are near and dear to me. They always have been, whether I was aware of it or not. Decades later I have funny stories to share that get a giggle to relieve the pain. It's optional suffering that went along with it that I want to spare my daughter. Reading articles like these both give me hope that we are making some progress and give me pause - to take catch the breath taken away by the reports of how women continue to be treated the whole world 'round.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9n1sjvrY31r7k8k3o1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="164" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9n1sjvrY31r7k8k3o1_500.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
and then you read articles like this... <a href="http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html">http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html</a><br />
<br />
what i call <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Cop out with yore cock out! 5 points that could be summed up with- the very essence driving my entire gender is something outside my control, removed from my influence. My response- WHAAA! Not so great explanation- no excuse. Step aside and go spank it out among yourselves while the fairer sex you so revile cleans up your effing mess.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">My daughter (and your son or daughter) is receiving her resilience training in this mess- it's her childhood. The folks I was surrounded by were barely aware, let alone mindful. I'm sure I've got quite a few friends who love me but really wish can't wait until the soapbox caves under the weight of my incessant ranting. Unlikely. I am the only parent my incredible and capable and clever and beautiful daughter will ever have so I'm going to do everything at my disposal to ensure she is responsible, resilient and ready to handle whatever the ride brings her- from the great to the hate. If I have anything to do with it, she will not going to wonder if she is good enough or lovable. And she certainly won't be engaging, let alone entertaining, the thought that she deserves even a fraction of the bullshit I've endured due to low levels of the vital mineral self-esteem. Only the privileged few know of my intermittent low self esteem- so let's keep moving.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I do know that what I see and what we are made to suffer is NOT OKAY. So let's help our kids and our friends and our families have a better experience with their bodies so they can have half a gnat's ass of a chance at deciphering their feelings so they won't be even one of a few kinds of asshole. And if you don't have the cajones to have these kinds of candid conversations and own your place in the world - call me. I do and I'm happy to help. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-63000139807468257442013-01-28T12:11:00.003-08:002013-01-28T12:11:50.541-08:00Taking Words Back: Diet<img src="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/74374_496636127054641_865486025_n.jpg" /><br />
<br />
When did the word diet lose its intended meaning? When did food stop being something we all have free access to? When did doctors stop healing?<br />
<br />
Is it the chemical companies? Is it marketing? Was it when the pursuit of happiness was rerouted and the detour has become the primary route?<br />
<br />
What do you think when you hear the word diet? Do you connect food to how your body feels and functions? Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-39241743900291785392013-01-23T01:43:00.001-08:002013-01-23T02:12:31.328-08:00Discounts Don't Count<a href="http://onebillionrising.org/blog/entry/introducing-the-obr-article-series-dr.-vandana-shiva-1">http://onebillionrising.org/blog/entry/introducing-the-obr-article-series-dr.-vandana-shiva-1</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: #e1dede; color: #222222; font-family: 'UniversLTW01-57Condense 723821', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">"discounting their contribution to the economy"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #e1dede; color: #222222; font-family: 'UniversLTW01-57Condense 723821', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: #e1dede; color: #222222; font-family: 'UniversLTW01-57Condense 723821', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">"production for sustenance is counted as "non-production"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #e1dede; color: #222222; font-family: 'UniversLTW01-57Condense 723821', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><strong style="background-color: #e1dede; color: #222222; font-family: 'UniversLTW01-57Condense 723821', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">"An economics of commodification creates a culture of commodification, where everything has a price and nothing has value."</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<img src="https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/46327_396555273769547_1883367655_n.jpg" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">Now that the Violence Against Women Act has expired - the excuse of provisions for women on reservations and in the military - two groups who are the very embodiment of the American Woman - the parity between women in the so-called evolved USA and developing nations. Sexism and misogyny are institutionally ingrained and socially acceptable, where racism is generally kept under wraps and even homophobia is on the wane. </span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">One look at how our bodies are eligible for legislation and rape eludes standard definition in the courts across the USA.</span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">We are far from universally progressive by a long shot - but there are still too few willing to admit the disparities and the fact that in the USA men are "free" and women are "discounted". </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">Having spent the better part of the past 20+ years creating media and at least the last 15 years in PR, marketing and advertising working with some of the largest and most influential global brands.The contradiction is striking: women are known the world over to make the majority of financial determinations in household economics. I have had to correct many quasi-feminist friends, albeit mostly male, that this does NOT mean that they have the control to determine their own financial course. In general, it means that they are tasked with spending someone else's money in order to ensure the survival of themselves and their children. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">The gap between east and west is not so great...the only difference is tone - our voice is one if you listen closely. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-26535379326958343582013-01-23T01:18:00.004-08:002013-01-23T01:18:56.989-08:00New Three R's for Boys (and girls) Who Dare<img src="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/542999_200584493411003_2052673512_n.jpg" /><br />
<br />
Is this teaching? I say no. "How to not" is reactive and assumes and accepts the active as inevitable.<br />
<br />
What would Don't Rape 1A even look like? What assumptions would those lessons make? Maybe the three R's: Responsibility and Respect in Relating to other human beings.<br />
<br />
I suspect that 1A would have pre-requisites like "Defining and Communicating Human Needs"; "Articulating the Human Experience" - with "Self-Love" and "Feelings are Okay" in orientation.<br />
<br />
A girl can dream. <br />
<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-79290454827056423232012-11-12T12:56:00.001-08:002012-11-12T12:56:22.997-08:00Wash, Rinse, Repeat<br />
<img src="http://personalexcellence.co/quotes/files/inspirational-quote-no-secrets-to-success.jpg" /><br />
<br />
This morning the stars collided, having my girl in the car while NPR shared a story about east and west cultural approaches to how we message the path to success to our children.<br />
<br />
My version of an abbreviated short cut: in the west we teach that if you are smart you have access to success, that there is something you have. In the east, it's more about the hard work, the effort.<br />
<br />
For me, it's about the balance of the two, the intersection. I am teaching my girl that all by herself, she is an amazing human being. And there are many amazing human beings that will contribute to the amazing world we live in. What will ensure her success in whatever she chooses- from getting up morning after morning to having a view of planet earth gazing up from the depths of the deepest sea or down from a perch on the brightest star - is the work she puts in. It's her inherent ability to not only show up, but to apply the effort, sometimes endure the suffering and take a wash, rinse and repeat approach.<br />
<br />
She gets it, in her own way. We are learning together that there is no value in fearing failure- only opportunities. She also knows I am here to coach and cheer her choice by choice. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-57434342411571167032012-07-27T22:54:00.002-07:002012-07-27T22:54:58.018-07:00PRIf I only had one dollar left, I would spend it on PR... ~ Bill Gates<br />
<br />
PR is only the beginning.<br />
<br />
Presence<br />
Promise<br />
Pride<br />
Precious<br />
Pretty<br />
Pressure<br />
Practice<br />
Prevalence<br />
Premeditated<br />
Prick<br />
Primp<br />
Prove<br />
Predetermined<br />
Preconceived<br />
Predict<br />
Pram<br />
Promote<br />
Proud<br />
Print<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-46137965654087034002011-06-26T02:12:00.000-07:002011-06-26T02:12:19.306-07:00Uh-Oh! Here it goes...Yes I just made the switch. I'm officially a tumblr girl now. The site is moving there. I will somehow recreate the posts in the new environment. hope to see you there!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
http://krizbell.tumblr.comUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-73432161019420233072010-11-27T01:04:00.000-08:002010-11-27T01:05:53.295-08:00If You Can't Run In It, Don't Put It On Your Feet: Another Keep On Pushin' Story”What I feel about that iconic status is it takes a lot longer to achieve if you keep your clothes on than off,” 54-year-old punk pioneer Exene Cervenka says. “I just worked hard and quietly did my art.”<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpYEpFRUALC2r9CHGM0o69J10ult4XuDERlpMsQ9horAOSpok6LCvjnIewDGEGWAO1n277g-TIrXDnxHSA3i7Sf_LeaaT1bxQKmM5IXKCMP-SZWvWv8Ly9cp3ioZqH9LUXn2E1cZfPiOlK/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpYEpFRUALC2r9CHGM0o69J10ult4XuDERlpMsQ9horAOSpok6LCvjnIewDGEGWAO1n277g-TIrXDnxHSA3i7Sf_LeaaT1bxQKmM5IXKCMP-SZWvWv8Ly9cp3ioZqH9LUXn2E1cZfPiOlK/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Thanks to my friend Eric Dinwiddie for posting the article on Exene Cervenka. I don't know how long it has been since I played any "X" and I never knew that she was born Christine and took on Exene- I can testify that she was and now that I am 'caught-up', continues to be a major influence. <br />
<br />
Background: during the early 90's I missed most of the pop music and opted for anything that was never gonna make mainstream radio waves. At home we were pretty religious about our music and movies all opening with a scratch and a hiss (vinyl spinning) or a crank and a crackle (film projecting). Jim Nabors, Nancy Sinatra, the Butthole Surfers, The Young Gods, The Didgits and yes, X. Madonna, Prince and Michael Jackson had all abandoned the gifts that introduced us and were fully and obviously compensating for some long ago love lost- I've never been a fan of the LOOK AT ME! campaign, still can't stomach the pain driven pathos that leads folks to seek (spot)light. <br />
<br />
I digress! The article on <a href="http://venuszine.com/articles/music/8010/Legendary_punk_pioneer_Exene_Cervenka_still_feels_The_Excitement_of_Maybe">Exene</a> hit home with me-- her art for art's sake, hard work and rocking to rally and really reach her fan base and move people meanwhile not that far away in her conscious intention she is pushing women and people to think think think- think about the clothes you're wearing and question- why do you want to look like a whore? why is this okay?<br />
<br />
Why do we want the spotlight so badly? One of my favorite people in the whole wide world, someone I consider family had celebrity status imposed on her. She has enjoyed it, benefited by it and suffered for it, as have those closest to her. Regardless of the numbers or hungry fan-base, like Exene, she works hard and remains committed, refusing to compromise her art.<br />
<br />
This resonates with me not only as an artist, a writer and a filmmaker, but I rely on my voice to make a living in marketing and publicity. The lines can get blurred and I must maintain a direct connection to my gut lest I fall prey to the irresistible glory of fame- success's ugly and infernal twin. Recently I dodged a bullet and my strategy of implanting in the belly of the film business beast was derailed- I was doing it for all the right reasons, but in the end my GUT and circumstance acted as an invisible electrified fence- scorching me before I could call Hollywood home. As a result I am regaining my ground, have FINALLY found love and feel like I am getting my sea legs with the writing. Right now I am working my ass off to "try not to resist to change...you're still becoming." (thanks <a href="http://www.astrogrrl.com/">Jan!</a> You rock!)<br />
<br />
To wrap it all up in a tidy package- I can't run if I'm trying to wear somebody else's shoes and you can't hear my stories if I'm speaking to some elusive spotlight. Like Exene's enthusiasm for touring from record store to record store and playing during the day where people bring their kids because they understand her value as an artist and a voice; where girls are excited because they can actually go to a show-- and HEAR her words. That's what moves people <br />
to move the world in a different and better direction- and that's why I do what I do- all of it- the work and the art- to make sure the media and the message make it intact.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-53953070136115080612010-11-26T01:26:00.000-08:002010-11-26T01:26:42.645-08:00Writer DNA: Fran Lebowitz<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>"I've never met anyone who even comes close to me in laziness. I would have made a perfect heiress. I enjoy lounging. And reading. The other problem I have is fear of writing. The act of writing puts you in confrontation with yourself, which is why I think writers assiduously avoid writing. The number of alcoholic writers makes a lot of sense because if you're going to be face to face with yourself, maybe it's better that you don't recognize that person."</i></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMTda-Qrj2Ps8-2Spsa42XRzX6EKMyaJONn_HniDkH2i653rL_4p_E2QAWo-Y4AexkP72SHr7PP1OgQ97IMPYyADipBATMLLXJ0uj7N8_l2mi06umHGd20yjFhExR0KoNJJvA8N_Mc4tDD/s1600/fran-cig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMTda-Qrj2Ps8-2Spsa42XRzX6EKMyaJONn_HniDkH2i653rL_4p_E2QAWo-Y4AexkP72SHr7PP1OgQ97IMPYyADipBATMLLXJ0uj7N8_l2mi06umHGd20yjFhExR0KoNJJvA8N_Mc4tDD/s320/fran-cig.jpg" width="278" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I couldn't turn the Charlie Rose interview with Fran Lebowitz off. Exhaustion from a fantabulous holiday wiped my memory of whether or not I have even read her work, or if I just know that I'm supposed to listen to what she says. No wonder I watch and absorb her words-- she goes on about the need to be around people and in the world and engaging in the conversation that is democracy, cultural, political, personal and on...but when you're lazy and afraid- smoking and parties are the rooms other that the one accommodating all of the stuff you don't want to deal with-- she also calls hers the writing room. </i></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>she also mentioned being afraid. a fear so intense that it remains invisible and anonymous- the unmentionable that you carry like a layer deep or two rash. all just an itch that's coming up from inside you-- hives perhaps. </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>these interviews always leave me with the same feeling i get from watching a suspenseful TV show or movie- the most obvious information that might make a difference is always omitted, skipped, or avoided. or am I the dunce missing something...how did she manage to survive through a writing blockade of Viet Nam war proportions? </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>tell me if you know and I'm missing something. I always wonder if there is a Bank of Social Icon- not celebrity- that gets tarnished and spoils but iconography- certainly there is a credit union? I get it but want to know, where do the checks come from? </i></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i> a Scorcese docu: PUBLICLY SPEAKING. hm.</i></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-31689478359264920812010-11-18T01:53:00.000-08:002010-11-18T01:54:54.840-08:0040 Crazy Ass Things-At the 40 day count down to 40 years old, once suggestion was "do 40 crazy ass things". Immediately I thought that my 40 crazy ass things at 40 years old would likely surprise some, though not those who know me...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGUqfvUiyJwmhklcWeZ_ANRVZNHoNgZCCzWme9dTUhJXXOmSyRfXTYEplycgdwJTmQe8SBLFzBYBFrgCSpirg1Hog7y8n4bSZ6uOmaQJxKcS0tCy3zn8uJVJ38lIrlpfZ2YVgxkQCsKcML/s1600/IMAGE+420+DAX-COBRA-2-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGUqfvUiyJwmhklcWeZ_ANRVZNHoNgZCCzWme9dTUhJXXOmSyRfXTYEplycgdwJTmQe8SBLFzBYBFrgCSpirg1Hog7y8n4bSZ6uOmaQJxKcS0tCy3zn8uJVJ38lIrlpfZ2YVgxkQCsKcML/s320/IMAGE+420+DAX-COBRA-2-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
I will start here...<br />
#1- I am so EXCITED and have been looking forward to turning 40 years old for a while. I am a real believer in trying things on- giving the experience a go- my 20's and 30's were chock full of learning. Lots of lessons I have no interest in revisiting let alone repeating. I am always puzzled when people dismiss the turn of a decade and favor looking back and even returning to some folly filled youth- yes the FUN is all caps in my mind, but dang I just don't want to do all that again. Like Yates said- "Youth is wasted on the young." I want to get my WISE on! and I think that 40 is exactly the sweet spot- old enough to know and young enough to approach and execute with skill.<br />
<br />
#2- I've spent so much of my life holding the 'high' as a standard, and too often settling for some incomparable low as a challenge to be overcome- I'm grooming an awareness and appreciation for the view from the ground. Digging on the sensation of life locomotion from a well situated center of gravity, albeit the '60's styling and handling of a '67 427 Ford Shelby Cobra, but even a machine of that magnitude (or even a Sunbeam Tiger...) has a specific relationship with the ground and can only move as fast as its flow. <br />
#3- Starting where I am. I am generally some combination of distracted (see previous blog post) and excited, enthusiastic and effusive- like the new 7UP ads "ridiculously bubbly"- - effervescence with a bite. I'm embracing the sprint- using it to my advantage as much as possible. Keeping to what's in front of me, anchoring on it and building from those moments in rather than bemoaning the spin off my rocker- #2 is helping a lot. <br />
<br />
#4 I'm not just listening, I am hearing- without the excitable violins playing and the missing my cues because of the weight of the chip on my shoulder or the shadow cast by an rotten egg past. Hearing me, hearing you and soaking it up and<br />
<br />
#5 giving it a space to pass through and wringing it out and writing about it- more than running my mouth and spewing the stories my heart is all pitter pat to write. because I also freaked out that maybe i have a finite amount of words and the last place they will shine is on Facebook, Twitter or me running my mouth. <br />
<br />
that's all for now, more later- attention span got the best of me... maybe i'll crack a 40 and laugh...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-36427265280261436072010-11-03T23:14:00.000-07:002010-11-03T23:14:21.510-07:00curiouser and curiouser<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLKaxXw7C2qJU9sUpPfJ56K4kitgVFGRGF9_vm7Q5B-vML-wZ_OstCMDM6yeABu3l9KrnnIDUNSkH69q5PnsL0cSwyRZqRANZ0_34bb0JSiMTcx2dNtkiRmpaESDNTKfJEMqQpQxaJ7S5A/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLKaxXw7C2qJU9sUpPfJ56K4kitgVFGRGF9_vm7Q5B-vML-wZ_OstCMDM6yeABu3l9KrnnIDUNSkH69q5PnsL0cSwyRZqRANZ0_34bb0JSiMTcx2dNtkiRmpaESDNTKfJEMqQpQxaJ7S5A/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>Creative curiosity conundrum of Kriz number 947,252,3845,957.<br />
<br />
Unmatched curiosity and like a 7 Up! ridiculously bubbly thinking excitement about being creative and digging into all the myriad minutiae (oh wow I spelled that right the first time!) and making things happen. Building stuff out of ideas and images and sounds and conversations and bringing people and concepts and art and moments together and OH! LOOK! It's a monkey on a goat!<br />
<br />
So this is a pretty rad way to be. BUT where the good golly am I going to find/make/create/allot/organize/sort/determine/unleash/discover/schedule/organize/focus the time to experience/enjoy/execute without diluting or tempting the fate as a dilettante. <br />
<br />
the writing of this blog entry also behind the scenes included 2 anecdotes, three texts, 1 voice mail, two nutrition negligible snacks and tucking a magic 5 year old back into bed.<br />
<br />
Easily distracted with far too little interest in the mundane maintenance required to run shit.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-87607853817390375542010-10-16T23:39:00.000-07:002010-10-16T23:42:15.973-07:00speed of lifesome bundled moments are so weighty with significance that they pull you into their rhythm. The velocity match, the adjusted atmosphere brings details, subtle facts & specifically pronounced nuances from their patient waiting posture into technicolor vibrance, etched on to the recesses of your spirit fiber, imposing new balance on your daily locomotion-- if you surrender your intention and pay attention. <br /><br />my daughter is having a surgery soon. I've come close to saying good-byes that seem premature and feel others impending as part of the course. meanwhile, embracing the treasures littered in right now. <br /><br />can't wait to get outside in the autumn with my girl and the family we have created. nothing like this love. <br /><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='http://blogpress.w18.net/photos/10/10/16/3376.jpg'><img src='http://blogpress.w18.net/photos/10/10/16/s_3376.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-33430641402604247072010-10-03T14:35:00.000-07:002010-10-03T14:39:59.498-07:00A Job. My Job.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixnbzTcReD2btS-U2QaSNT11KL7mcZ_9qqk9a7CR_ITm-ffOrtjzikOp7X-H0Tyt1z6DB8XbJ5SJSQpPO93OyAZwVxOuTaQea_dX_QHoQO_JaSOYzHtLHxTIBJ9Y4C2LiJrYJSvp0BWCk-/s1600/20-CosmicEgg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixnbzTcReD2btS-U2QaSNT11KL7mcZ_9qqk9a7CR_ITm-ffOrtjzikOp7X-H0Tyt1z6DB8XbJ5SJSQpPO93OyAZwVxOuTaQea_dX_QHoQO_JaSOYzHtLHxTIBJ9Y4C2LiJrYJSvp0BWCk-/s1600/20-CosmicEgg.png" /></a></div><br />
<br />
There are so many different schools of creative thought. How do you do it? Where does it come from? Is it talent? Is it a gift? Is it about the audience or the work or the product or what?<br />
I was given a gift today by a believer- I say believer because it's the belief that something exists that sparks the process that results in the creative product.<br />
<br />
This gift was a TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert. I am a fan of hers, and now you could call me a disciple. She preached a creative doctrine that did not just speak to me as a message, it summed up my essence in such a way that I felt understood and an understanding of myself that happens only when I am traversing a precipice, active and conscious of stepping from one evolutionary lily-pad to the next. It has happened before- and like Elizabeth Gilbert, one of these was with Tom Waits... but that's a different story...<br />
<br />
so just like when my mentor and inspiration on legs Terry McMillan gave me Po Bronson's WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE? years ago, I watched this Ted talk and felt acknowledgment and reinforcement and understanding sitting side by side next to my muse. In their laps were all of the puzzle pieces for me to assemble the who, what, where, why and how and even the how much of my creative process. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html">http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html</a><br />
<br />
It's no accident that a favorite show of mine- 6 FEET UNDER - Alan Ball of course, spoke to me in one of the final episodes where Claire was directed from beyond the grave to tune out the static and hear the message. Life happens, incessant drama, rife with clutter and daily messes tugging and dictating and demanding we parcel our hearts and minds out to tackle every little thing to make our moments just so. It's part of my job to say no thank you. I have a date with my muse. I am committed to come correct and bring it, every time. You never know when the visit will be elevated by transcendent magic and effervescence or just something else, sometimes resulting in also terrible. You don't get to know in advance. It makes sense in the rear view mirror. Like my dad always says- the hardest part is showing up.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-12662304461750423932010-08-17T14:01:00.000-07:002010-08-17T14:01:12.539-07:00spin cycle<a href="http://view.picapp.com/pictures.photo/creative/young-woman-crouching/image/5064728?term=surfing" target="_blank"><img alt="Young woman crouching on surfboard in sea, smiling" border="0" height="503" oncontextmenu="return false;" ondrag="return false;" onmousedown="return false;" src="http://view1.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/5064728/young-woman-crouching/young-woman-crouching.jpg?size=339&imageId=5064728" title="Young woman crouching on surfboard in sea, smiling" width="339" /></a><script src="http://view.picapp.com//JavaScripts/OTIjs.js" type="text/javascript">
</script><br />
<br />
<br />
I was never what you would call a great surfer and I haven't done it in years. But it's one of those things i can't wait to do again, wish i could do it all the time and can't imagine not doing it ever again. My romantic life has played out a lot like my not so illustrious surfing career. <br />
<br />
It all starts with cool gear and a plan to get out there and ride those waves! Suited up you work and work to paddle out, get past the break. Then you sit. You wait until the right wave comes along and BAZAM! You paddle-paddle-paddle-paddle-paddle and stand up at just the right time to take your place in the sweet spot, riding all the way in to the beach, breathless and exhilarated because there is nothing else like it in the world.<br />
<br />
Except more often than not the waves looked one way when i started to paddle out, I was dizzy from not being in surf ready shape by the time i got past the break and then anxious about whether or not that was a fin in the distance and if something just touched me i should ignore it because i couldn't do anything about it anyway. Wait for the right wave and the magic will sail in on magic... BUT NO! Not unlike my forays into the world of dating and romance- instead of diligent effort floating me in on a wave of magic, I paddle-paddle-paddle-paddle and end up on the wrong wave, wipe out in the messy white wash and get tossed around in the spin cycle of waves that were not nearly that big when I paddled out.<br />
<br />
<br />
It's probably a good thing I don't have a surfboard or a wetsuit. There hasn't been much summer to speak of so...So here I am waiting for the season to come around again while i get myself in shape. It's not easy because even though i haven't been out that far that many times, once it's in you, it's there. The next opportunity to paddle out may not be for awhile- I'm not exactly actively engaged in wave watching, honestly still getting have wobbly sea legs over my last time out, I was trying to stand up on my board when the waves were really better for freestyle body surfing.<br />
<br />
I'm convinced there are some decent waves out there, right for me to ride in on, once I'm in the right shape, with the right board and suit to make it all happen. Meanwhile, living through the days until the next season are the only way through it. There is plenty to do-- the magic is worth it. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-85497905847491588412010-08-17T00:44:00.000-07:002010-08-17T00:44:27.341-07:00Happy Birthday...to me?<a href="http://view.picapp.com/pictures.photo/creative/iced-cake-decorated-with/image/5064575?term=happy+birthday" target="_blank"><img alt="Iced cake decorated with happy birthday candles" border="0" height="506" oncontextmenu="return false;" ondrag="return false;" onmousedown="return false;" src="http://view3.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/5064575/iced-cake-decorated-with/iced-cake-decorated-with.jpg?size=337&imageId=5064575" title="Iced cake decorated with happy birthday candles" width="337" /></a><script src="http://view.picapp.com//JavaScripts/OTIjs.js" type="text/javascript">
</script><br />
<br />
<br />
Today being the day it is reminds me of a weekend rendezvous in Seattle, March 2004 to be precise. It was a simple few days, movies, more than one which was great- blockbusters but it was all good. Walking around, not holding hands though I really wanted to and other seeming complications that were overlooked and music, dancing to a New Orleans band- magic. Most i remember enjoying the moment because to see him that weekend at all was crazy, to see him again, was going to be a miracle. <br />
<br />
Long story short, this weekend I got closer to someone than I ever have, without giving it all away an ruining it with some toxic expectation that turns into a habit that skews and skewers the parties involved. All that to say there was conversation and love and fun and just damn it is was ALL GOOD. I left that weekend so electric and activated that nothing else mattered. <br />
<br />
The result was saving money. Finally working freelance and planning my trip around the world! Buying a motorcycle! Writing/directing/producing a stage play in the SF Fringe festival! Well, I got as far as the helmet when all of this self-activation crested...and my 'I don't need anyone because I'm good with me!" was confronted...I was pregnant! <br />
<br />
I haven't seen him since- but i think about him sometimes- especially when i want to remember a time when i was my favorite self and somebody else recognized and acknowledged it...and it never had the chance to get rotten. <br />
<br />
to that end i'm grateful for the phenomenon of muscle memory. I know that that i'm in me. i'm in training to own it again. in fact the universe has seen fit to put me right back to my roots- the same place before i've launched a few practice runs of whole self activation...this time it will be getting for good... stay tuned. I'm working it out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-35316031099950230492010-07-28T15:39:00.000-07:002010-07-28T15:39:51.523-07:00Remembering Promises- a fable<a href="http://view.picapp.com/pictures.photo/creative/the-queen-hearts-1999-oil/image/309259?term=fairy+tale+heart" target="_blank"><img src="http://view1.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/309259/the-queen-hearts-1999-oil/the-queen-hearts-1999-oil.jpg?size=500&imageId=309259" border="0" width="362" title="The Queen of Hearts, 1999 (oil on canvas)" height="471" oncontextmenu="return false;" ondrag="return false;" onmousedown="return false;" alt="Private Collection" /></a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://view.picapp.com//JavaScripts/OTIjs.js"></script><br />
<br />
Once upon a time there was a writer who had a tendency to get all twisted up. It seemed as if she was attracted to spiderwebs and could not resist getting herself. Rather than come upon one, admire the craft and beauty of it, then walk away, she compulsively inserted herself where she did not belong, and was not wanted.<br />
<br />
Long story short, this girl had a platinum heart- precious and heavy and fragile. It was such a fabulous burden to tote around, she was nearly desperate to find someone to share with. But instead of doing as she was instructed and had pledged many moons ago- to find a suitable partner once she had established its true worth. The silly girl kept on going out there and wooing seeming suitors to her aid. As she herself had not determined the real value, she could not communicate it or convince others of it. Nobody really wanted it.<br />
<br />
Finally, she grew weary chasing after another somebody who was not interested and had no safe place for her heart to rest. She took to back to the road, on her own, to get reacquainted with the space that her own long and lonely shadow cast on the path forward. The pain of occupying her own space after sharing with one who saw her heart as she hoped it would be seen, was exquisite. Time being the only antidote for such a wilted spirit, she set about filling up the vast expanses between minutes that would finally assemble to form a day. Here her faerie queen godmother came to her with the reminder of her pledge. That the heart would grow lighter and be suited to sharing once its value could be measured. This was the ray of light the girl needed, without delay she put her heart to the task at hand- writing from her heart in order to tell the tales and walk the miles...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-4347010322926888972010-07-27T13:23:00.000-07:002010-07-27T13:24:15.500-07:00Easily Distracted<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfARimjyroEctBrMaRBqaJsTH4qhd0j_WA7bHVF2bqN3L7B57f6wpmYyMKFyM6Kxlc-vUCjdLRJeqz5at7HPUQd-EBNUes_Qquthj0wqK4DainM9dT6FB82FOrVWt1Ibvq3sigC2Od5DVJ/s1600/tarot22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfARimjyroEctBrMaRBqaJsTH4qhd0j_WA7bHVF2bqN3L7B57f6wpmYyMKFyM6Kxlc-vUCjdLRJeqz5at7HPUQd-EBNUes_Qquthj0wqK4DainM9dT6FB82FOrVWt1Ibvq3sigC2Od5DVJ/s320/tarot22.jpg" /></a></div>Here at the SF Writer's Grotto. I'm sure I already said that in a few places but it's a great source of inspiration for me. One of my very most favoritest writers has an office AROUND THE CORNER and by that I mean in the same building- Po Bronson, whose book WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE changed everything for me. It was the fertilizer that helped me drop my figurative balls and decide that damn it, I am a writer.<br />
<br />
So here I am trying to use this blog as a tool to harness my focus. I've got real problems people- as in be careful what you wish for types of issues. Yes, I have more to write than the sands in the hourglass and the words willing to evacuate my brain will accommodate. Kinda.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned. Terry McMillan is about to launch within the week. Truth in Numbers is a happening thing. even good old Lamorinda Appliance Service, Inc. lives and breathes. There is the new media venture with promising promise MEDIA UNDER THE INFLUENCE... but most important is Smoke and Mirrors rounding the next bend and tada! it's a procedural! It's its own show- Entourage can piss up a rope as the misogynist narcissist gangs that dominate the airwaves get enough time- time to deconstruct and reconstruct our ideas about such trends... <br />
<br />
i digress...it's great to be focusing on my own work, lassoing so to speak where i put my energy. enjoying the space i'm in and what i have here... not worrying what i don't and where i'm not and who isn't. with so many fab folks here, my heart is doing just fine. it will all make sense in the rear view mirror.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-49825429817867341412010-07-26T14:48:00.000-07:002010-07-26T14:48:24.647-07:00Catch Up: self indulgence warning issued<a href="http://view.picapp.com/pictures.photo/creative/golden-gate-bridge-san/image/184891?term=san+francisco" target="_blank"><img src="http://view1.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/184891/golden-gate-bridge-san/golden-gate-bridge-san.jpg?size=500&imageId=184891" border="0" width="500" title="Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco" height="333" oncontextmenu="return false;" ondrag="return false;" onmousedown="return false;" alt="Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco" /></a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://view.picapp.com//JavaScripts/OTIjs.js"></script><br />
<br />
Not sure of the exact numbers but we are way up on our water- Spring came and went with a lot of rain. We are now breaking records for the coldest summer in at least 40 years- that surpasses all of the years I can claim, so there you go. <br />
<br />
All of this to say, yup, me too. Try as I might, there was no real escape from the elements- rainy days and a cold heart have come to roost. I made attempts to boost outta this mess - plans to relocate to LA, placing my eggs in the wrong baskets and hanging my heart on the wrong hook- just a few of the places I misplaced my precious focus, energy and efforts. <br />
<br />
So here I am feasting on HUMBLE PIE ALA MODE. While each activity served its purpose, the karma came quick with lessons about tending to the present moment, loving what you have and having what you love and accepting time in the questions. I could go on about gratitude and expectations and the dangers of men who walk with a limp and like it, but that's not the point. I've got my heart back, it's propped up here on the desk next to the clock that is ticking down the time I have to actually create something. <br />
<br />
The cool thing is I am at the SF Writer's Grotto. A place I have always dreamed of working in. Granted I am subletting space for a limited time, but there is nothing like being somewhere you always wanted to be. It's a great reminder of the power of magic. I tend to suffer from amnesia, but that's another blog post. <br />
<br />
I'm trying new things in the interest of getting new results. I'm not moving to LA. I'm not sticking with the same old people who are not feeding my soul but feasting on it. I am putting it out there and meeting new people. I am approaching my days armed with what I want and not what I think I can get. While I'm purging cliches I'll even say I'm planting as many steps as possible with specific intentions in the effort of becoming who I always wanted to be. Sitting here and writing is a fabulous beginning. <br />
<br />
Enough taking care and prioritizing everybody else. That is sooo last lifetime.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-9693421546917122672010-06-01T14:16:00.000-07:002010-06-01T14:21:01.537-07:00Two Women Walk Into a Frame...do they have names? do they talk about something other than a man? if they do, do you care anymore? would you be more intrigued if they were raped or their only driving force was / is elevating the 'hero'? are you dismissing me as a ranting feminist who should be LALALALALALALALLA tuned out? <br />
<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLF6sAAMb4s&feature=player_embedded<br />
<br />
i read this article and the comments- it really spoke not only to why I think that me putting anything remotely intelligent or entertaining on the screen, or at least helping it get there is crucial, but it made me kinda mad.<br />
<br />
http://johnaugust.com/archives/2010/women-in-film<br />
<br />
This is not about being feminist, at least not to me, as if that is such a bad thing anyway? Rather it's about why didn't you save a seat for me? Why do I have to be second class or chattel or only as important and valuable as your whims, wants or willie deem me to be? I will go out on a limb here and say it's not so far from how not white folks feel and have felt for ages. The real kicker is that women still sit in the back of the pimp bus. great. <br />
<br />
But i'm not whining! I'm writing, raising money and changing things. So NOW!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-36448753450784465092010-05-11T14:05:00.000-07:002010-05-11T14:05:45.845-07:00time keeps on slipping slipping into<div style="float:left;"><a href="http://view.picapp.com/default.aspx?term=oscar statue&iid=8172032" target="_blank"><img src="http://cdn.picapp.com/ftp/Images/0/2/d/1/Preparations_Continue_At_6566.jpg?adImageId=12823275&imageId=8172032" width="234" height="156" border="0" alt="Preparations Continue At Hollywood & Highland For The Academy Awards"/></a></div><div style="clear:left;height:0px;overflow: hidden;"></div><script type="text/javascript" src="http://cdn.pis.picapp.com/IamProd/PicAppPIS/JavaScript/PisV4.js"></script><br />
<br />
<div style="color: black;">the ether. i've got so many irons in the fire it's barely conceivable. here i am spending another afternoon at my favorite cafe FOUR CORNERS in Albany as writing at home (home, brought to you by the parents, more on that later) is not going to happen with so many people and all of their stuff and stuff they are doing overlapping. yes folks I have a web content development gig (<a href="http://terrymcmillan.com/">terrymcmillan.com</a>) going on, movie marketing (<a href="http://shecriesyoudie.com/">shecriesyoudie.com</a>) writing a TV pilot (<a href="http://smokeandmirrorstv.com/">smokeandmirrorstv.com</a>)for a table read Thursday and pitching in LA next week. There are also a couple of docs and 2 or 3 other screenplay ideas in some stage of development and a fabulous career changing barter going on with Ellen Sandler (<a href="http://sandlerink.com/">sandlerink.com</a>), plus the bookkeeping I do for my dad's business. </div><div style="color: black;">Like a mother with too many children and little capacity or skill to communicate the need or type of help that might be helpful, I juggle them all watching my hopes for exercise, eating well and moments of solitude (love? leisure? laziness? somebody elses luxuries to be sure) slip away like an interrupted dream. </div><div style="color: black;"><br />
</div><div style="color: black;">A woman and her two kids just passed by the window decked in hipster fashion finery and equipment. It really made me miss my baby Xoxa. yeah I know she is a feisty and fabulous 5 years old, but that doesn't mean i don't wish we had more time just me and her, to chill and enjoy each other like we did when we had our own space. she loves her grandparents and we will be on our own soon enough. it won't be like this for very long (in fact this BROKE and UNDEREMPLOYED bullshit has been stale for more than a minute too long) in fact it's changing every minute. I really want the shoe on the other foot already. I want to enjoy my parents, not feel like crap-ola because despite my best efforts i need their help. </div><div style="color: black;">It does help that i know i'm not alone. I count my blessings and make sure my daughter feels loved. then i work some more. </div><!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6741409376820914987.post-48809106287005072332010-04-28T00:36:00.000-07:002010-04-28T00:36:56.054-07:00opening up to reveal the ineffable - read it all b/c it's real & good & real good!I am a huge fan of Producer Mark Lipsky's blog<br />
<br />
http://incitecinema.com/blog/<br />
<br />
It's just what a blog should be: quick, well written and full of contagious energy. It's become my daily affirmation. It's as if I have been introduced to a kindred spirit who is not flaky or pretentious or worried- it's the abundance that keeps it alive and pushes us to make art by any means necessary. his messages are all about it can be done and it's done all the time and let's do it not because it's cool but because you know you can't do anything else.<br />
<br />
I really wanted to do what I thought was the right thing and move to Portland (one of my favorite cities of all time) to raise my daughter in a warm and open community as a writer. Somehow the invisible force field that the universe erects when you approach an other path didn't sanction it. then one day I tried on the idea of actually actively pursuing my lifelong dream of making movies- not just writing and offering my words for the world to absorb (i have no illusions that a lot of what i will create in my tenure as an artist will no be enjoyable so absorb stands) rather i want to MAKE something. I have never really wanted anything so badly in my life- not even true love as I would forgo romance and a secure partnership to make art- sorry fellas! my oldest friends are grateful that i am making the leap into the visions that were held hostage in my heart for so long... and funny but the universe has obliged me with Ruby slippers (I know in the book they were originally silver- i'm talking cinema here, a'ight?) to skip along down to LA LA land where I can hustle under the Hollywood sign along with the best of them. Turns out this is the best thing for Xoxa too because a heart happy mama is a good mama.<br />
<br />
and now, Goethe...<br />
<br />
<div class="pad" id="content"><div class="post-282 post hentry
category-uncategorized tag-breakdown-services tag-craigs-list tag-goethe
tag-jeremy-morris-burke" id="post-282"><div class="entry clear">———————————–<br />
Until one is committed,<br />
there is hesitancy,<br />
the chance to draw back,<br />
always ineffectiveness.<br />
Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:<br />
that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.<br />
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.<br />
Whatever you can do<br />
or dream you can,<br />
begin it.<br />
Boldness has genius,<br />
power and magic in it.<br />
Begin it now.<br />
-Goethe</div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0