blocks

i am always fascinated by responses to the holidays, including my own. it changes from holiday to holiday, from year to year. pretty consistently my birthday and halloween are always a drain or a drama or just drippy. as a rule i am just not the person who is motivated to give or get - in any sense- as a supporter of or proponent of the general consumer movement. my generosity is not debateable, rather unrivaled! i also do not understand the exchange of energy and insistance on aggressively refusing to participate- if you're not into it, then movitate folks to do something else- offer a solution! i fyou are anti- consumer concocted holidays- but you're happy to comply by sitting down and eating food and accepting gifts that keep the wheels of the consumer machine rolling, no?

instead of surrendering to the impulse to blythely insert cristicism empty of any action motivated intention, i prefer to sprinkle humor, or to take somethin good, make it your own or totally ignore it altogether! it seems as if there is something irresistable about complaining, something that keeps you from moving forward if you hold on to nothing but your fear of joining the group that is moving toward a greater good...rather to whine, grumble, complain and dance around what happens when you are in the world with everybody else.

i am happy to report i am getting cleaner everyday! somedays cleaning includes a stumble back but some thorough scrubbing was endeavored this evening, and appropriately, i am thankful. one more time i am also reminded of the phrase, radical incompatabilities! i really need to give the people in my life a chance to reveal themselves in a few iterations before i release them from the beta phase. keep the marketing for the industrial efforts, not the romantic ones!

remember that this period is brought to you by writing- by pushing forward with where you are and making sure there is room in the event you are interested in an interested party coming into that space. seems as though my track record is getting the better of me...time to start looking and moving inside- get your process on young lady!

i suppose one of the reasons i am a writer is my unwavering curiosity about stories and perspective: how do we get where we are? i saw a woman the other day who looked as anxious and pensive as any homeless drug addict...i wanted to take her aside and ask her what was her story? when did the lights go out? or when you see a really obese person, their size imposing mobility issues-- how did you get THERE? apparently i am not the only one who wonders, a friend brought up the same inquiry over lunch at Crossroads- what is the back story?

this is a looking i like- looking outside your own box. i suppose some would save it's brave to do that. it's part of evolving, growing and taking on new tools. tonight i grew my brain a bit at the symphony- the seats were real nose bleeds but the music was incredible!it really gave me goosebumps form the inside out. some sorts of bliss activating pieces of my brain were engaged. i am so glad to be reminded of the world i have been fortunate to grow in and around me. i am so lucky. there is a lot of joy out there to make and enjoy- revel in it!