learning to love the Twilight saga though it may prove to be my undoing

it was easy. albeit uncomfortable. each book was easier to devour than the one before it. the installments grew progressively longer~ the first wasn't even 500 pages! by the time i reached the 4th and supposedly final book- just under 800 pages~ waiting in the darkness for a friend to drop it just before midnight. i gobbled it up like a vampire drains its prey, in under 72 hours.

not unlike a vegetarian vampire, my affection for Edward (his refined, gentleman's behaviors, including his ability to express his unwavering love, with song, restraint, generosity, passion and focus) will keep me sated for a spell, but my seemingly unquenchable thirst will reveal itself once the magic of an absorbing novel has been washed away by some of the nasty side effects of my own mortality~ time and craving for companionship.

so now i fear an old age surrounded by books as Edward may be limited to the page. not sure if the moral high ground it espouses - purity is rewarded with TLF~ is inaccessible to reformed hedonists like me. or is the word offered as there is somebody for everyone and patience with faith will provide the secret recipe to imprinting a mate. really it's not about all that- just a good solid partner: a handsome man who is accepting, loving, at least as strong, generous, educated, smart, compassionate, talented, adventurous, courageous, stylish and vibrant as me...or in short, a good fit for the long haul. men with expirations dates, Peter Pan, man-child afflictions wearing scaredy pants need not inquire.

the good news is, despite the undeniable and overwhelming pulpy qualities of the series', the depth, intricacies and overall superior quality of the story and each of the stories woven in, is INCREDIBLE. I have spent the bulk of my years as a reader avoiding supermarket checkout line literature~ but these books make me want to chat with Stephenie Meyer about her process; what did it look like when she started? did she outline? did she know who was going to end up with whom? what changed over time? where did she get blocked and why? what would she change now?

i am motivated to write my own. that is only reason i am not grieving the vampire and shape-shifting family i have come to know and love. they infected me- i was bitten- i only put the books down out of absolute necessity. and now i can only endure the separation because of my desire or instinct or motivation...to write my own*.

*I have no intention or inspiration to write vampire, shape-shifter, supernatural novels. I am a writer of good old realist-ish fiction. but damn if the Twilight saga hasn't pushed me to another level. you never know what shape the muse will take...and not that this will throw cupid on the path or anything but i know that as soon as i surrender to my own heart pursuits, wheni can really focus inside on the quiet, i'll hear him knocking...