11 months ago
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Once upon a time there was a writer who had a tendency to get all twisted up. It seemed as if she was attracted to spiderwebs and could not resist getting herself. Rather than come upon one, admire the craft and beauty of it, then walk away, she compulsively inserted herself where she did not belong, and was not wanted.
Long story short, this girl had a platinum heart- precious and heavy and fragile. It was such a fabulous burden to tote around, she was nearly desperate to find someone to share with. But instead of doing as she was instructed and had pledged many moons ago- to find a suitable partner once she had established its true worth. The silly girl kept on going out there and wooing seeming suitors to her aid. As she herself had not determined the real value, she could not communicate it or convince others of it. Nobody really wanted it.
Finally, she grew weary chasing after another somebody who was not interested and had no safe place for her heart to rest. She took to back to the road, on her own, to get reacquainted with the space that her own long and lonely shadow cast on the path forward. The pain of occupying her own space after sharing with one who saw her heart as she hoped it would be seen, was exquisite. Time being the only antidote for such a wilted spirit, she set about filling up the vast expanses between minutes that would finally assemble to form a day. Here her faerie queen godmother came to her with the reminder of her pledge. That the heart would grow lighter and be suited to sharing once its value could be measured. This was the ray of light the girl needed, without delay she put her heart to the task at hand- writing from her heart in order to tell the tales and walk the miles...
Posted by kriz bell at 3:39 PM
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
So here I am trying to use this blog as a tool to harness my focus. I've got real problems people- as in be careful what you wish for types of issues. Yes, I have more to write than the sands in the hourglass and the words willing to evacuate my brain will accommodate. Kinda.
Stay tuned. Terry McMillan is about to launch within the week. Truth in Numbers is a happening thing. even good old Lamorinda Appliance Service, Inc. lives and breathes. There is the new media venture with promising promise MEDIA UNDER THE INFLUENCE... but most important is Smoke and Mirrors rounding the next bend and tada! it's a procedural! It's its own show- Entourage can piss up a rope as the misogynist narcissist gangs that dominate the airwaves get enough time- time to deconstruct and reconstruct our ideas about such trends...
i digress...it's great to be focusing on my own work, lassoing so to speak where i put my energy. enjoying the space i'm in and what i have here... not worrying what i don't and where i'm not and who isn't. with so many fab folks here, my heart is doing just fine. it will all make sense in the rear view mirror.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Not sure of the exact numbers but we are way up on our water- Spring came and went with a lot of rain. We are now breaking records for the coldest summer in at least 40 years- that surpasses all of the years I can claim, so there you go.
All of this to say, yup, me too. Try as I might, there was no real escape from the elements- rainy days and a cold heart have come to roost. I made attempts to boost outta this mess - plans to relocate to LA, placing my eggs in the wrong baskets and hanging my heart on the wrong hook- just a few of the places I misplaced my precious focus, energy and efforts.
So here I am feasting on HUMBLE PIE ALA MODE. While each activity served its purpose, the karma came quick with lessons about tending to the present moment, loving what you have and having what you love and accepting time in the questions. I could go on about gratitude and expectations and the dangers of men who walk with a limp and like it, but that's not the point. I've got my heart back, it's propped up here on the desk next to the clock that is ticking down the time I have to actually create something.
The cool thing is I am at the SF Writer's Grotto. A place I have always dreamed of working in. Granted I am subletting space for a limited time, but there is nothing like being somewhere you always wanted to be. It's a great reminder of the power of magic. I tend to suffer from amnesia, but that's another blog post.
I'm trying new things in the interest of getting new results. I'm not moving to LA. I'm not sticking with the same old people who are not feeding my soul but feasting on it. I am putting it out there and meeting new people. I am approaching my days armed with what I want and not what I think I can get. While I'm purging cliches I'll even say I'm planting as many steps as possible with specific intentions in the effort of becoming who I always wanted to be. Sitting here and writing is a fabulous beginning.
Enough taking care and prioritizing everybody else. That is sooo last lifetime.
Posted by kriz bell at 2:48 PM