Monday, October 19, 2009

throw back hero stuff

another inspiring movie. i was swaying with them skating in and out and around the track. i saw Drew Barrymore's Whip It tonight. i'm always a sucker for a movie i see by myself, especially at night in the city. the first time a movie left me with this distinct sensation and profound impression was Gus Van Zant's MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO at the Lumiere- in at the afternoon and out with a great crowd at Twilight. I still don't know if it was a great movie or it was just the moment i was saturated with. Doesn't matter. it's sometimes why (like the vowels- get it, sometimes y!>) I have to see a movie at the theatre twice, to know if i am impressed or impressionable. i think this is why movie theatres will always be around. but i thought that about the UC theatre too- these are my digressions.

how cool to see a movie about girls, women, whomever, that is honest and real and true and doesn't show them getting raped or treated like idiots or slaves or being otherwise disrespected by men or each other. it also wasn't so soft or girly that your teeth hurt and you felt like you were being manipulated. it was about how it's okay to be whatever kind of tough ass girl you want to sometimes. i guess you could say acceptance. i just know that i was only a couple of years older than Ellen Page's character when i shaved my head, donned Guatemalan military issue combat boots, fishnets and my grandmother's leather jacket to be a bad ass in SF doing performance art and producing an independent film- 16mm black and white before digital. making art. being smart. traveling. getting fitted for hipness that started where my graceful non-conformity as a Gaucho broke off. that place in your factory assembly where you have to sort out how much of your family of origin to scrape and shave off to be prepped for the new family of seeking adolescent vagabond bohemian artist types you adopt.

this is why i believe in reincarnation. i have had so many such lives- so many intersections of the soul. life configurations that shift and unfold like the beads refracted in a kaleidoscope- like cartwheeling through the ether seeming to touch the sidewalk and function along the path where i am more falling along, swimming among the others in an inspired wakeful sleep. you fight for that move on the board- such conviction and well there you go, there's another all configured, waiting for you to tumble on to it.

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